Red Christmas

Upon reviewing my previous blog entry I've realized it is probably not appropriate for those of you wishing to know more about my adventures in China as opposed to my adventures in the bathroom (which is more commonly referred to as the watercloset or WC here).

Well, it's Monday December 21st. Christmas is on Friday. Today my students tried to trick me. I gave them homework to do and they claimed it was unfair because Christmas was coming...but you see, the thing is, Christmas is not a holiday in China. It's tricky to teach a teen, to teach a teen, to teach a teen...

My students have been tricking me a lot lately. On Friday I came to class 1 minute late (I make my students do pushups and squats when they're late...I do the same) and found the classroom empty. So I left to go looking for them. Mystified at their disappearance and with a tailor desperately trying to measure me for a school uniform as I charged around the building searching for my students, I ended up back in my classroom 5 minutes later...but something was different! The lights were off...when I turned them back on it was to find an entire class of students pretending to be asleep at their desks! They'd hidden behind the curtain to fool me when I first arrived and then demanded that I do 6 minutes of pushups instead of 1! It's pretty hilarious to listen to a group of students, pretending to be indignant, demand, in broken English, that you owe them pushups, in a Chinese accent. Today they offered me some 'candy'...it was hot wasabi flavour. Later, the 'good girl' in the class offered me a cracker...yep, hot wasabi flavour again. Even she has fallen under the sway of tricking poor Mr Harvie. So I'm now in the business of seeking revenge. If you know of any good shafts, please pass them along to me.

Toilet Humour

You may have noticed the picture of the Chinese toilet on my Flickr site. I've compiled a pros and cons list regarding the nature of these toilets. Here it is:

Pros:

1) I never have to overhear that annoying conversation about putting the toilet seat down.
2) I will soon have stronger thighs than anyone in North America.
3) I don't waste nearly as much time reading in the bathroom.

Cons:

1) I never get to piss people off by chiming in with my two cents on the toilet seat debate.
2) My thighs hurt.
3) Where do I read?


As you can see, deciding which type of toilet is better it is a very interesting topic to consider...I only wish I had somewhere peaceful to think about it...

New Pics

I have some new pictures up on Flickr (http://www.flickr.com/photos/44196127@N04/). It's mostly of my students and of Jilin City...nothing so spectacular as The Great Wall. I have a picture of the dog meat section at the grocery store that I didn't post because it is quite graphic and would be disturbing to some, but if you're curious let me know and I will send it your way by email.

A long December

Well here it is...December. I'm three months into my adventure and still ticking. The last couple of weeks have been tough ones. Work has been quite stressful for a number of reasons and the wear and tear of constantly being in an alien culture is taking it's toll. But I remain in good spirits and am daily grateful that I jumped on this opportunity.

The thought of what to do next is starting to push its way into my mind. At this point I really have no idea. I presume I'm welcome to stay here for another year. I could set up shop teaching in Halifax again. I could look for another adventure somewhere else...South Africa would probably be nice :) Maybe I could sign up for a master program in Hawaii or something. But to this point, I confess, none of these options are really reaching out and grabbing me. I look forward to coming home and relaxing with my friends and family.

In the meantime, December promises to be the longest of my teaching career...there's no Christmas Break! It's like I have a real job or something...what's up with that? I didn't sign up to be a teacher so that I wouldn't get vacation time... ;)

My first Chinese haircut

This was awesome. It's cold here in Jilin and so the glass doors of the local salon were frosted over. As I entered for the first time I didn't know what to expect...is it big, small, crowded? Do they cut Westerners hair? How am I going to communicate? Turns out it's big and crowded. As I opened the door every head in the place turned to look at me...it was just like when someone enters a bar in a Western movie. All talking stopped as everyone stared. Me, being a bit apprehensive about the whole ordeal as it was, stared back. As the tension mounted I realized that it was going to have to be me that made the next move, but you can imagine this is tough when you can't speak the language and don't know who's in charge. So I boldly looked around the room, slowly moved my hand close to my head, made steady eye contact and began making snipping movements with my fingers. It was like popping a bubble...the room sighed, a few people giggled and a young man leapt over and led me to a seat. The hair cut itself was pretty much identical to Canada but the entry was priceless...a moment I'll never forget.

Pedagogy

*Warning: if you're not a teacher you may find this post boring. **Warning: even if you are a teacher you may find this post boring.

If I was doing a headstand I'd be ankles deep in the pedagogical wilderness here in China. We're in a private program that has started slow. When I arrived there were only 5 students and as of today we're up to 15. They've been trickling in and in the last two weeks alone we've had 5 new students sign up. In one sense this is fantastic, but from my standpoint it's a mammoth headache. Imagine trying to lesson plan for this. I've got ESL students showing up 2.5 months into the year...it's insane. I've been fighting a losing battle against EVERYBODY to prevent streaming. The students have, predictably, identified the "smart" class and the "dumb" class. I'm watching the good and the bad of streaming unfold before my very eyes. It's fascinating...but kind of like a train wreck.

I'm also dealing with the issue of trying to provide meaningful education for a student who, I'm convinced, needs psych testing for a low IQ. I keep saying this to the people around me and they nod and agree when I say it but then the next day suggest that if she stays in the evenings for extra lessons or comes in on the weekends for extra lessons, she'll get caught up. It's unbelievable. It's like suggesting that if a dog just tried harder and took more lessons it might learn some math.

Assessment is, funnily enough, a cinch. The kids are cool with the new system that I was using at BiHi last year. I spend almost no time marking. It's awesome.

Discipline has been interesting. Furthering my theory that kids are the same everywhere...I was having trouble getting them to respond earlier this year. They were unfamiliar with a Canadian approach and couldn't figure out the boundaries no matter how hard I tried to explain them. So I started giving punishments out and, lo and behold, they figured out what appropriate behaviour was pretty quick!

I'll try to return to funny posts next time up :)

Fire in the Hole

...quite literally. There's a garbage chute in my school and today there was a big fire in it. Exciting stuff! Because of the proximity of my classroom to the inferno I was the first to notice the blaze. Gathering my courage, a coworker and I fought the conflagration thus saving dozens of lives and millions of dollars in infrastructure. Okay, so maybe I just pointed a fire extinguisher in a hole but it was still fun...how often do you get to pull the pin on one of those things? I think my bigger contribution to saving the building was checking the fire extinguishers afterwards and finding that, in true Chinese fashion, they had returned the empty fire extinguishers back to their storage place with pins replaced. Good grief, who are they trying to trick?

Talent Show

To entertain a group of American exchange students our school hosted a talent show last night. And a big talent show it was...2 hours and about 300 people in the audience. My students were involved as MC's and did a fantastic job (obviously) but the performers were primarily students from the rest of the school. What a show. It ranged from extremely talented young individuals to some of the most bizarre performances I have ever and will ever see. Let me tell you about some of it. First (and favourite) on my list is the Chinese hand puppet show which broke into a rendition of a Michael Jackson song. Four hand puppets in traditional Chinese character, like the Monkey King, singing Heal the World in off key, Chinese accents. I was sitting in the front row laughing uncontrollably. I nearly had to leave. Next up, things didn't get much more normal. A group of dancers came on stage. Girls first, and they were actually pretty good...but then the boys came on. Break dancers, but not good. Picture Elaine from Seinfeld on steroids and doing her best break dancing imitation. Out of sync with the music, deadly serious expressions on their faces, trying their best to work the crowd by raising their arms and shouting "Make some noise!", but completely awful at dancing. Now, normally, this isn't something you laugh at, this is a time when you feel sorry for the person on stage because they're not good, but the thing is, the crowd went nuts! The crowd loved it! It was some of the worst dancing I've ever seen! Coupled with my first experience at a Chinese club last weekend and I'm getting the impression that Chinese people are looking for something different out of their dancing than we are. One final highlight was a boy and a girl doing a duet version of We Are The Champions. They sang romantically to each other the entire time. It started well but as the music began to crescendo around them, they kept singing gently at each other like it was a ballad. It was really weird, but again the crowd loved it. I finished the night with sore cheeks from how hard I was laughing.

Things I Miss

Living in China you expect to miss things back home. Obviously friends and family are the most important thing but there are other little things that I wish I had here. Here is a list of my Top Three Things I Miss:

3) My iMac. I have to restart my computer here about 8 times a day - every time I get new a new add-on, update, software or hardware. It's stupid. What idiot would design a computer that you need to restart this often? And the pop-ups, my God! They're incessant. And if they're not bad enough, every time my browser blocks one it makes it's own personal pop-up bragging about how it's prevented a pop-up. C'est stupide, non?

2) Remote controls that are in English. I find remote controls hard enough to navigate as it is...there's like a thousand buttons on them. Imagine trying to find the menu button if the buttons weren't labelled. Now imagine trying to figure out how to change the language of the DVD and turn off subtitles when none of the buttons are labelled. It's an iterative process nightmare.

1) Milk. I've said it many times. I'd give up beer before I'd give up milk. But here I have no choice. The milk is awful. I dare not think what lengths I would go to for a glass.

Pictures...at Last!

Good news, ladies and germs...the pictures have arrived. Well, some of them. They're on a site called Flickr. Go to http://www.flickr.com/photos/44196127@N04/ to have a gander. I think you need to have a Yahoo account so you may need to go sign up at www.yahoo.com first.

Flickr has limited me to 100MB a month so this is just a small selection. I hope you like :)

Beijing

It's Monday night here, I returned from a weekend trip to Beijing early this morning. It's a pretty incredible city. The trip began on Thursday night by catching a 12 hour overnight train to the capital. I was pretty nervous about this...I'd been warned that this was a pretty brutal trip. My fears were not allayed upon entering the train and finding how tightly packed together we were. Bunkbeds three high and considerably less wide than university dorm beds. When the train started it made some pretty intense noises too, like it was going to fall apart. But it turned out alright. I wouldn't want to do it in the day time but the overnight was okay. Friday in Beijing my travelling companion and amateur tour guide, Jesse, took my to the Temple of Heaven and then to Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City. The Temple of Heaven is one of the lesser tourist attractions in China but still very impressive. It's a place that Chinese emperors used to go to to pray for good harvests. The traditional Chinese architecture and gardening was quite something. Tiananmen Square was a letdown I suppose. I guess it's more exciting because of it's historical importance. This is where Chairman Mao declared the founding of the People's Republic of China. I was hoping that I would recognize it from the famous student riots that occured there but these days it's just a big square with people hanging out in it. Kinda dull :) The Forbidden City on the other hand was anything but dull. Upon entering I definitely had a sense of letdown...I was expecting to be immediately wowed but instead I saw portable basketball nets and tourist shops. It is however a site that just gets progressively better and better. The deeper you go the more amazed you are. I won't even bother trying to describe it, it's a lost cause. You could easily stay there for a week and not see all of it. It's stunningly beautiful. And hard to believe that it was just over a hundred years ago that it was still the home of an all powerful emperor.

On Saturday Jesse had to go about her own business for the day so I joined a tour group and went to visit the Great Wall and some other things. If I was impressed by the Forbidden City, I was astounded by the Great Wall. I know it sounds obvious but the thing is just so damned big! I was joined on the tour by a couple of Bostonians and we hiked up and down the Wall together for a couple of hours. There are places where the stairs are so steep that you've got to essentially crawl up them. The whole way the Wall is covered with Chinese people climbing as well. We're talking everything from 80 year old women to 2 year old kids. The kids are particularly cute. Some of the stairs are pushing two feet high and these little kids clamber up them, positively delighted with themselves. If they were my kids I'd be terrified that they'd slip and fall...it would be a nasty, nasty tumble on these stairs. The view is, of course, astounding. You can see the Wall winding and climbing for miles in every direction. The thing is built on top of a mountain for heavens sakes. It's the sort of accomplishment that when first suggested must get a lot of laughs for being an impossible task.

Sunday I was taken to the Summer Palace. This is another jaw dropping tourist attraction. It's a huge palace/garden in the middle of the city. It's centered around a huge manmade lake and is designed in the most clever way. The Chinese philosophy about gardens is that you should never be able to see the whole thing...it's supposed to unfold in front of you as walk through it. Time after time I would walk around a corner and be stunned by the view that suddenly appeared before me. The decadance and grandeur was just out of this world.

Among other smaller things, I saw the Olympic facilities, a silk factory, jade museum, cloisonne factory and traditional Chinese tea house. I'm not usually much of one for these types of tourist attractions but I quite enjoyed it this time.

The trip ended on a bad note unfortunately. I started feeling ill on Sunday afternoon and by Sunday evening when I got on the train to head back to Jilin I was quite sick. I think perhaps the water did it to me. The train ride was hell. 12 hours, a lot of which was spent in the bathroom (haha, and not a western bathroom! just a hole in the floor), cramped quarters, people smoking like chimnies. It's one of the worst nights I can ever remember having. I stayed home from work today and I don't regret it at all. I'm feeling better now but what an awful night. Once I feel back to normal I'm sure it'll be a good story though...just another part of the deal when you're in a developing country.

With regards to pictures, I have hundreds from my time so far in China which I'm dying to post. It's not easy though. Getting the pictures onto the computer is hard because the setup is all in Chinese and then posting the pictures is proving to be quite a trick because of all of the blocked sites here. I'm working on it, I hope to have them up within a week.

Also, I have Skype now and it works great so if you're set up for it you should log on from time to time.

Cheers from Zhong Guo (Chinese for China).

Jailhouse Rock

The learning curve remains exceptionally steep. On Saturday I signed a lease for an apartment to live in. I had been staying in a dorm but wanted something a bit more settled. This experience nearly landed me in jail today. Yep. Jail. It seems that it's Chinese law that you need to register your apartment within 24 hours of signing a lease. If not, jail. I escaped this fate on a technicality. The true owner of the apartment is the mother-in-law of the lady who used to live there. It was the lady who lived there that signed the lease however, thus rendering the lease invalid and me still free. Yikes.

Okay, I'm exaggerating a bit. I don't think they would have thrown me in a cell for a small misunderstanding like this but apparently they could have. The rest of the experience was also very different than renting an apartment in Canada...for example I had to pay the full years rent up front. That hurt. And bills work differently, it's backwards from Canada. In Canada the power company keeps tabs on you as an individual and has a file on you and sends you a bill every month. Here, it's up to the individual to keep track of the power company. They don't care who lives in the apartment, just that the amount owing is paid every month. Otherwise the power gets shut off. It's a good example of the old adage "there's more than one way to skin a cat". Which, come to think of it, is a really disgusting adage. Hmmmm.

** Update

A quick google search of Richard Tyson Rigg has revealed that he shares a patent on a dermatological product which customizes foundation to a woman's facial skin. Sweet.

And I wonder what am I doing here...?

Alright, this may just be the funniest thing that has ever happened to me. On Sunday night I got a phone call from a woman at the school here asking me if I'd fill in for someone and accept an award on his behalf on Monday at lunch time. I agreed. Things began to snowball really quickly. Nobody knows this guy or what he does. And nobody told anyone that I'm accepting on his behalf. Before I knew it I was on tv shaking hands with important politicians, I was taken to a fancy lunch where I was made to give a toast on behalf of Canada. Then I was whisked off to the capital (Changchun) where I was a guest of honour at the fanciest banquet I've ever seen. I was introduced to a room of about 300 people and I sat at the head table, all of the time under the guise of one "Richard Tyson Riggs". At first I was very uncomfortable with being an imposter but as the day wore on I decided to just have fun with it. By the end of the night I was proposing toasts at the head table and doing shots with all of these Chinese dignitaries. It was hilarious. Completely impossible. The craziest part was that I was never told what was coming next. I just did what I was told and at every step of the day it kept getting more and more formal and prestigious. I still don't know who Richard Tyson Riggs is, what he does, what the award was for or how I ended up there. It was definitely an unforgettable experience though!

Frustrated Incorporated...

I believe the honeymoon is coming to a close. Today was a pretty frustrating day. For all of the wonderful experiences there are definitely some things that are tough to deal with...like the staring and pointing for example. I feel like a celebrity without the benefits. I swear Chinese people don't think it's rude to point and stare. I had to physically force myself out of a childish staring contest with a 40 year old woman at 30 yards. We were both standing still, me with a briefcase in hand like Michael Douglas on the cover of Falling Down, her with a slack jawed expression straight out of the Clampett family. I was just so sick of people staring at me I started staring back, you know?

But I'm determined to stay positive...so...tonight I head to the airport to meet my boss. His visit last week was delayed by, get this, the NDP government in Nova Scotia. Haha. Thy arm is long Darrell. My co-worker, John, and I are both hoping he'll be suitably impressed with the amount we've accomplished so far. With it being a new program very little was actually in place when I arrived. Since then we've made the learning environment a lot healthier, made big strides with the students (including adaptations for one of our 5 students...I know the teachers reading this will love to hear that!), made the staff office bearable, found a printer (a HUGE victory, believe it or not) and the coup de grace...acquired a coffee maker!

Also exciting is that I found the ingredients to make homemade garlic cheese bread...damn it's tasty after a day of Chinese noodles and tofu!

Pictures to follow before too long.

It's Been One Week...

Well! Here I am in China. It's been a bit over a week and I've finally figured out how to circumvent the Chinese government's blocking of my blog. I guess they were concerned that www.duncanharviesblog.blogspot.com may contain some inflammatory material. Like Andy.

This past 10 days has been insane/amazing. Describing me as a fish out of water would be a huge understatement. Fortunately I have the support of a great group of people in the foreign department here at Jilin #1 High School. If not for them I don't know if I'd still be here. It's really hard to articulate how little I know, how difficult it is to do the simplest tasks, and how frustrating it is not being able to talk or read but it's certainly a humbling experience. I'll never look at a foreigner in Canada the same way again.

So, I'm here safely and the adventure has begun. Now that I know how to get to my blog I'll update it more regularly. Thank you to everyone for sending emails; they are precious.

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go...

The long and drawn out departure appears to be imminent. I have a flight to Ottawa booked for Wednesday wherein I will get my visa processed in person. At that point I plan to catch the first flight to the Orient and get my China on. This has been a very long and stressful month, I'm very relieved that the end is in sight. Or the beginning, I guess, depending on how you look at it.

The Waiting Game

My friends came together last weekend and threw me a going away party. It was pretty awesome. Barrie won convincingly at Risk, the water at Chocolate Lake was particularly refreshing and the tunes went late into the night. And now I wait. The Chinese are still processing my visa and until that is approved I'm stuck here in Halifax.

On the positive side: I've been successful in selling some of my belongings, I've got extra time to hang out with my friends and hey, relaxing ain't so bad.

This weekend, unless the call comes, I brave Hurricane Bill and head off on a fishing expedition in Five Islands.

Material Weath

I spent today packing up my apartment. My plan is to get rid of nearly all of my belongings, Siddhartha style, keeping only a few treasured possessions. Books, photographs, music...you know the type of stuff. I'm amazed at the volume of crap I have accumulated; several garbage bags full of doodads and thingamacraps were properly dispatched today. The rest gets posted on Kijiji or, failing that, sent to the dump. If you know of anyone in Halifax who is moving into their first apartment, let me know.

Getting Ready To Go

Hi everyone (anyone? :) ).

I'm busy trying to get ready for my big adventure. The latest challenge is trying to get my medical completed in time for my visa to be approved in time for school to start. It's touch and go on this so I may be a bit late which would be, I think, a poor way to start at the school but it's out of my hands. Sobeit.

Today I had a meeting with several other administrators who are doing the same thing as I am at other schools in China. Some of them have done it before so it was really valuable to be able to listen to their stories and advice. They'll be a good support network when I get over there I hope. It also helped to keep my spirits high. Not that they need much help in that regard, I'm quite excited, but every bit of affirmation that this is the right decision for me is nice.

In bad news, it looks like I have to resign my brand new permanent contract without a day of actually using it. My application for a leave of absence was firmly denied. It would be nice to keep that door open but I feel strongly that this is a life move I need to make even if it does curtail my career as a teacher in Nova Scotia.

And that's it for now. More updates to follow!

Big News!

I am moving to China. Yep. China. They've been waiting for me for 8000 years, this is going to be big.