Farewell to Jilin City

It's early afternoon here and my train out of Jilin leaves this evening. This marks the beginninng of what promises to be a long and painful few days of travelling but I'm definitely excited to be getting home.

The end of my adventure in China is definitely filled with mixed feelings. I will miss many things about my experience here but I'm also very, very ready to return to a culture I understand. A quick weekend in New York precedes a nice relaxing break with Mum and Dad in Bayfield and from there I'll have to start thinking about a new job. Blue skies ahead :)

On marriage proposals, open manholes and superheroes

I was leaving a restaurant last night (with a beautiful young lady!) when the disastrous nearly happened. As we were walking down the street she suddenly grabbed me by the arm and yanked and said "Did you see that!?" Clearly I had not. I turned to look where she was pointing to see an open manhole inches away from where I had walked. Seriously...AN OPEN MANHOLE! Can you think of a dumber way to die?

In other news, I have 10 days left until I leave Jilin and have recently received two marriage proposals. These were delivered in jest of course, except for the fact that I think they were only quasi jesting. Maybe my instinct is bad but I definitely get the feeling that if I said yes, they would suddenly stop joking and I'd be married in a few weeks. Craziness.

Finally, and this would be creepy if it weren't a little kid but...apparently I'm a superhero. I've been informed that there's a kid that lives in my apartment complex that thinks I'm pretty cool. I'm not really sure where he got this idea and I know of about 500 former students and dozens and dozens and dozens of peers that would happily correct him, but he has been watching me for a few months and has definitely been duped somehow. Apparently he has even had superhero dreams about me. Like flying and stuff. Tomorrow we have lunch together, I'm certain to disappoint.

I'm F*$!'n Awesome

Okay, okay, okay...I KNOW...it's a family blog...foul language is inappropriate. But please read my story before you judge me.

Today was one of those frustrating days that seem to happen from time to time. I left work in a foul mood and things didn't appear to be headed to a happy place. As I'm walking up the path to my apartment building then who should come waddling up opposite me but a Chinese woman I estimate to be in her late 30's with a face that made it clear she hasn't laughed in at least two decades wearing a black t-shirt with big white lettering saying "I'm Fucking Awesome". Classic Chinese...wearing shirts that are in English and they have no idea what they say. I started laughing out loud, I'm a bit ashamed to admit, right at her. I think she probably won't smile again for at least another decade because of me. But it did cheer me up!

Bye Shanghai

So I'm back from my 'field trip' to Shanghai and the World Expo. It was a-mazing! First Shanghai; the skyline is incredible...it must rival any city in the world. I had a bit of time to walk up and down Nanjing Street which is the commercial street in Shanghai. It begins at a Madame Tussauds (my first time visiting a wax museum!) and ends at the Huang Pu river. The river cuts the city in two and on one side is this super modern skyline and on the other side are a collection of beautiful European style architecture buildings built in the first half of the 1900's when Shanghai was first emerging as an international financial center. It's stunningly beautiful.

The Expo was an experience I'm really glad I got to have. I spent three full days with my students checking out the different pavilions and still missed a good portion of it. That said, by the end of 3 10 hour days I was plenty ready to be done with the Expo. The pavilions were mostly really good and some were brilliant. For those of you who don't know (like me a month ago), each country sets up a building and a display inside the building. In theory each country presents the best of itself whether it be science, arts, vision, history, culture or some combination. Canada held it's own, in my opinion...but the real stunners were the Czech Republic, Italy, UK and a number of smaller countries that I really had no expectations for...like Uzbekistan, for example. Really poorly done were Australia and Israel. I was really disappointed in Israel after a LONG wait there just wasn't much content. Nobody held a candle to North Korea however. Stunningly bad. They would have been better off leaving it empty to provide the illusion that they were just slow in getting set up.

Check out the pics at: www.flickr.com/photos/44196127@N04/

Mystifying Things Ch. 2

Growing up in the '80s I can remember when seatbelt laws came into effect in Nova Scotia...or at least I think I do...perhaps this is a false memory that I have somehow superimposed onto my life but regardless I THINK I remember it. This being the case I seem to have a bit of a fetish for seatbelts. Wearing them. Not wearing them. Whatever. The point is, I REALLY notice seatbelts. I don't really care what people choose to do and sometimes I choose not to wear one myself because I feel very rebellious and free when not doing so (surely this is a measure of how boring a person I am).

So what does this have to do with China? Well, these Chinese people here in Jilin are really good at doing things that don't make ANY sense. In just about every car that I've been in...mostly cabs, but a few personally owned ones...the seatbelts are inaccessible. The cars are all built with seatbelts but most backseats are covered by, well, a seat cover. And you can't get at the seatbelt. So you can't wear one even if you want to. In the front seat you can use the seatbelt (when it's functional which is not always because many of them are broken out of disuse) but nearly every time I try to, the cab driver gets visibly nervous and tries to talk me out of it. I'm serious, they get upset. Why? Seriously though...why would you try to talk someone out of using a seatbelt? You gain nothing from it...and it costs you nothing to allow it. What possible reason is there for trying to prevent this? And why don't the seat cover manufacturers just cut a little hole in the seat covers so that the seatbelt buckle can fit through? Seriously? Why not? I can understand choosing not to use a seat belt...as mentioned before, it's thrilling...but why would you try to stop someone else?

Hi Shanghai

I'm going on a trip to Shanghai...a field trip to be precise. The World Expo is being hosted there this year and I'm chaperoning our students as we go to check it out. It promises to be pretty awesome. We leave for 5 days on May 7th.

Shanghai does not have nearly the cultural weight of Beijing but it is, from what I've heard, more developed and, dare I say it, "cosmopolitan". I look forward to seeing the Chinese at their best. I'm also very excited to see the Canadian exhibit at the Expo (see link below). My national pride has soared to ridiculous heights in the past 8 months.

My Chinese Massage

Yesterday I went to a Chinese sauna. Quite an experience. The whole ordeal was hilarious but too lengthy to explain so let me stick to the massage. I am no massage expert...I've had maybe 3 or 4 professional massages in my life. But I know what pain feels like. And I know weird when I meet it. The guy giving me the massage was pretty random. To begin with he tried to rub my back off. I seriously think that was his goal. If I'd had one of those big back tattoos it would almost certainly be gone now. His method was, well, violent. And I'm not sure that's a word that's supposed to be associated with massages. I spent this portion of the massage gasping for air and marvelling that I had paid for this treatment. Later, as I was lying on my front, he lifted my foot and started punching the bottom of it. Literally punching it...what was he going for? And why didn't he punch my other foot? Other techniques he employed were "cup his hands and slap my back" and "grind his elbow into my shoulder blades". These techniques, though lacking in relaxative effect or enjoyment, are certainly high in pain. I came out of the massage feeling like I'd just had the living shit beat out of me (please forgive my crudeness). Combined with the full body exfoliation I had endured an hour earlier and I was left pretty exhausted. That's right. Full body exfoliation. But that's a story for another day...

My Chinese Name

So it's been a long time coming but I've finally given my self a Chinese name. Chinese people often give themselves an English name that they use around English speakers. This is partly because some Chinese names are very difficult for us English speakers to pronounce/remember (ex -Liu Yicun...trust me, you're pronouncing it incorrectly) or they cause English people to giggle uncontrollably which must be very irritating (ex. Long Wang...sigh, I still can't stop giggling...when will I grow up?). In this light I've decided it would be fun to give myself a Chinese name and I've decided on Deng Xu Hu (pronounced dung shoe who). Deng is the Chinese equivalent of the Dun part of Duncan and it is also the family name of the Chinese leader that came after Mao Ze Dong (Deng Xiao Ping). I've been reading about him lately and quite admire his accomplishments. Xu Hu translates into, lol, "morning tiger", which I think is awesome/hilarious. I can't quite separate the mental image of Hobbes (of Calvin and Hobbes) and real tigers. This leads to images of me yawning and stretching as I awake and then roaring as I pounce out of bed into a position ready to attack. It's probably a good thing that nobody actually has access to my brain except for me...it would be a bit confusing :)

The Strangest Club on Earth

My experiences with clubs in China have all been memorable ones. Last weekend I went to one that really took the cake though. On the outside it is covered with stained glass windows with religious scenes making it appear to be a church or something. This of course seems a bit odd when entering a bar but this just intrigued me more so I forged ahead. Inside the building has been decorated in such a way that it looks like it's straight out of "The Golden Compass". This is augmented by the 1:1 staff to customer ratio wherein the staff are dressed up in costumes that make them look like Oompa Loompas from Charlie and the Chooclate Factory. Topping off the entry is an actual, honest-to-goodness Chinese midget. Wow. I just wonder what the designer was going for, you know? What possible theme covers midgets, God and childrens stories? And if this theme actually exists, does it really attract the demographic that wants to go out drinking on a weekend?

(CS Lewis being the obvious answer, I suppose, but I highly doubt that he resonates with the Chinese or with drinkers)

Tales from a Canadian

I'm looking for a hockey party but there's not much to pick from in Jilin on a Monday night. I awoke painfully early this morning and took in the gold medal hockey final. Without a doubt, one of the best games of hockey that I've ever seen, even without the drama. Wow. I paraded around school all day telling everyone repeatedly about the win, they think I'm crazy. They're right. Watching Crosby score that goal was pure euphoria...Go Canada!

On a whole, I didn't get to watch as much of the Games as I would have liked but by following along online I am very proud to be Canadian. It's an amazing feeling to be on the other side of the world watching your country throw a huge party. I am a believer in the power of the Games!

Chinese New Year

Holy crap! The Chinese really know how to celebrate the coming of a new year. They beat us hands down...it's not even a competition. They have a bit of an obsession with firecrackers at all times but all restraint has gone out the window this week. I've seriously had moments where I thought Jilin was under attack. This morning I woke up to the tintinabulation of explosions outside my window at 7am and they didn't stop until 10am. Not even for a moment...it was constant explosions. Even now at 3:45p the explosions are still going. New Years Day was 4 days ago! I'm in awe.

Vacation Synopsis

As I was lounging in Cambodia I took to writing to pass the time. I've put together from these scattered thoughts a rather detailed description of my trip that I would like to share but it is too long to post here. It also contains some sensitive topics so I need to screen who reads it. (how mysterious...!) So, if you're interested then pop me an email and I'll send it your way. duncanjohnharvie@gmail.com

Cambodia Pictures

Hello ladies and germs. I'm back from my vacation to Cambodia and have posted some pictures if you care to see them: http://www.flickr.com/photos/44196127@N04/

The trip was amazing and I plan to have a description posted in the not too distant future, but the pics will have to suffice for now.

In other news, I've returned to find the internet is even more restrained than when I left. Sites I used to go to are now blocked, sometimes the site pops up but the pictures don't (ex - Wikipedia...I can get the text, but no pictures). It's pretty bad. So far gmail is still operational but I fear that sooner or later the internet (and things like my blog) will become too restricted to function properly.

Mystifiying Things Ch. 1

The Chinese do some things that just don't make sense. I suspect that part of this is because I'm in a backwater, undeveloped part of China and that many of these things don't happen in, say, Beijing or Shanghai. So maybe I should say that Jiliners do some things that just don't make sense. I've decided to start posting a list of things that I can legitimately find no explanation for.

I live on the top floor. I have no neighbours. There is no elevator. Between my floor and the penultimate floor is a staircase with a landing. There is no reason for anyone except me to ever regularly ascend to this landing. At the landing is a small panel door that allows access to some plumbing. There is a bit of a ledge inside. A supply of recycling (ex. empty water bottles, coke cans etc.) slowly builds up on this ledge and then periodically disappears. What is going on? Why would somebody go to the trouble of climbing the stairs to this landing, in order to keep their recycling in a place not intended or suitable for recycling?

This mystery nags at me in an entirely inordinate amount. There is just no reason for this to be happening. People don't go out of their way to purposefully inconvenience themselves for no reward. I have considered a wide range of possibilities and none seem any more likely than that someone is choosing to store their recycling there. But the issue really isn't the mystery, it's the fact that based on my experiences with Jiliners so far, there probably IS NO REASONABLE explanation...and that drives me nuts. If I were to find the person who was doing it they probably couldn't tell me why they did it. Instead the conversation would probably go something like this: Me: "Why do you keep your recycling in such an inconvenient place"...Culprit: "that's where the recycling is kept"...Me: "But why right there? Why not somewhere that's more suited for it and easier to get to?"...Culprit: "I keep my recycling in this little hole in the wall"...Me: "I see that, but I'm trying to understand WHY you choose to put it THERE..."...Culprit: "because that's where the recycling is kept". Sigh. All day, every day, folks.

Vacation Time

Okay...a trivia question for you: what do Guitar Hero 3, the Dead Kennedys and myself all have in common? If you guessed "A Holiday in Cambodia" you were correct...give yourself a prize! My flight is booked into Phnom Penh (which surprisingly enough is pronounced "nom pen" not "fnom pen he"...oops) for the 30th of January and I'll be there for 10 days, chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool (shooting some bball outside the school...nice). I hope to get a chance to take a day trip to see Angkor Wat. I also hope to play some golf. You can see my priority list is a bit of a mish mash. Mostly though, I want to get out of Jilin and take a break from life here. I desperately need to recharge my batteries. I'm doing fine and I'm in good spirits but I've been slipping into a negative mindset which I'm none too pleased about. Being overly critical of Chinese practices and attitudes instead of just trying to roll with it. I think that a vacation is just what the doctor ordered.

Worrisome news

It seems that the Chinese government is in a tiff with Google and that Google is threatening to withdraw it's services from the Asian giant. This is very bad news for me as all of my correspondence so far has been through Gmail. If I suddenly go off the map try my hotmail account: duncan_harvie@hotmail.com or my old NS teachers account: harviedj@staff.ednet.ns.ca.

Also, I notice that since I've left Canada many people have added me as a friend on Facebook. I am not ignoring your friend requests...I have no access to Facebook here. I get an email telling me to go confirm it but I can't sign in. Please don't be offended :)

These are some pretty clear examples of what it's like to live in a country that is not free. It is substantially more frustrating than it sounds.

New Years

What did I do for New Years you ask? Well, I'll tell you. I went to a small party with some foreigners and then at about 11:30p we headed out to a Western style bar called Bar Code. Soon after I found myself and a fellow Canadian named Covey on stage playing music with the house band. It was awesome! Here I am in China playing Weezer and Radiohead with some Chinese dudes who keep leaning into the mic with random guttural screams when they think appropriate. It was ridiculous. Highlight: playing Hotel California and having the crowd out sing me during the chorus. I HAD A MICROPHONE and they were louder! As per usual, the Chinese accent just makes it funnier.

It's been four months and I still have these surreal moments where I look around and think to myself "Holy crap, I'm in Asia". And these moments, like being on stage jamming with Chinese musicians and having a sing-a-long with a crowd of Chinese people, are really special. I've been pretty stressed of late and these moments help a lot...it's difficult to describe but it's kind of like anti-regret. (I searched for a word that is the opposite of regret and came up with words like contentment and satisfaction...these are not how I feel...anti regret is a much more accurate describer) You know, it's evidence that I'm glad I came. In the middle of them I often have the realization that I definitely would not be having experiences like this if I had stayed in Halifax and I don't think I've ever enjoyed living in the moment quite so much as when that happens. And so this is obviously a good thing.

In other news I've begun playing practical jokes on my students. First I set the classroom clock ahead and tricked a couple of them into thinking they were late. Push ups. Thanks for the suggestion Akim. Next I will be using a suggestion from Susan...making a very long, difficult pop quiz which says at the top "Read all questions before answering" and making the last question "Do not answer any of the above questions". Ahhhh, revenge. So sweet. mua ha ha ha ha ha!